


i want you, bless my soul

by chatsdelune (greymooses)



Series: 30 days of svt [8]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 30 Days of Writing, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, Jell-O, M/M, Minor Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Relationship Negotiation, but no fish tank, honestly just 96z shenanigans bc i love them, i went so far off prompt for this i hate them both, junhui is a flirt, perhaps jihoon is a morosexual, that one new girl scene with the fish tank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:02:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26914084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greymooses/pseuds/chatsdelune
Summary: it pulls soonyoung’s attention back to the situation at hand, at least, which may or may not be a good thing. “i fail to see the problem here, hoonie. he flirts with everyone, but never that directly.”"ugh, whatever. what do you know about his plan for all the jello and baby oil?" he asks, looking up at wonwoo.wonwoo shakes his head. "nothing. he said he had an idea and sent me away. jello and baby oil?""and water balloons.""what kind of jello?""that's your only question?"wonwoo shrugs.
Relationships: Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Series: 30 days of svt [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949296
Comments: 12
Kudos: 92





	i want you, bless my soul

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh... i'm very late, sorry. but this means probably two today? neither one of these assholes (disclaimer: both are biases i love them dearly) was cooperating with me yesterday, and they're still a little more ooc than i'd like, and it was just a weird day all around. this fic 100% got away from me, but whatever, hopefully it's not horrible.
> 
> i listened to too much simple for the last third of this. that's my only excuse for what happened. title is [taylor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2d1wKn-oJnA), bc of course it is.
> 
> prompt: ‘Explain to me one more time why exactly are you so desperate to buy this much Ricin?’ AU  
> own notes: smth other than ricin bc ricin is stupid deadly. like. baby oil. jello. something involved in a terrible prank. junhui. and… clerk is. JIHOON. junhui placing a delivery order for like 50 bottles of baby oil and 50 packages of cherry jello and jihoon just being like "what the fuck dude" also a box of condoms

the door to junhui's room swings open when he's placing a delivery order from a nearby shop, which is weird in and of itself because his roommate is currently at work. weirder still, the man that walks in is drenched in green slime. he suspects from the height and glasses that it's probably wonwoo.

junhui snickers, says, "take me to your leader?" 

"extraterrestrials aren't just green humans, junnie. we've been over this."

"that's what an extraterrestrial trying to gain my trust would say."

"would an extraterrestrial know you had a sex dream about my boyfriend last week?"

and look, junhui has sex dreams about a lot of people. mostly his roommate. but wonwoo was the only person he told about soonyoung. this doesn't rule out more complicated explanations like an alien stealing all of wonwoo's memories in addition to his appearance, but it's _probably_ him. "touche. what happened and why are you here instead of in the shower?"

"the assholes next door. they want a war. you need to help me come up with a plan."

junhui doesn't have to think for very long. there's something he's wanted to try for a while. "i have an idea. i'll take care of it. come back when you're not covered in… whatever that is."

wonwoo leaves. junhui adds a few things to his cart, clicks "place order," and leans back in his chair. the bastards in the dorm next door will have no idea what hit them.

***

"who the fuck orders fifty packs of cherry jello, twenty-five bottles of baby oil, water balloons, and a box of condoms and how do i become their best friend?" jeonghan wonders out loud. jihoon's eye twitches, because— "wait, jihoonie, isn't this your address?"

jihoon sighs. 

his roommate's favorite hobby: placing the most ridiculous orders when he knows jihoon is working. last week it was sixty-nine cans of spam, and all he did when jihoon brought the order was wink and shut the door in his face. his own door.

everyone else refuses to deal with him, except jeonghan. jihoon refuses to let jeonghan near him, because that's not a friendship he will be encouraging at any point, for his own sanity. it's bad enough when soonyoung detaches himself from his boyfriend long enough to hang out with junhui. god forbid all three of them meet.

anyway, there was no sign of the spam when jihoon got home. junhui refuses to tell him what he did with it, and this haunts him. he's not making that mistake again. he pulls his phone out and calls his roommate.

he answers in the mostly sickly sweet voice imaginable. "jihoonie, light of my life, what can i do for you?"

"can your jello, baby oil, balloons and condoms wait a couple hours?"

"mm, it's not ideal, but i suppose so."

"i'll bring them when i come home, then."

"thanks, _jagiya._ "

jihoon makes a gagging sound and hangs up on him.

***

turns out twenty-five bottles of baby oil are heavy. and look, jihoon works out, but thank god their building has an elevator, that's all he's saying. he's still cursing wen junhui's existence by the time he gets to their room.

he's walked in on a lot of weird things before. junnie trying to fry an egg on the windowsill. junnie with cat ears licking water out of a bowl on the floor — "just to see what it's like." sex he prefers to forget about, because fucking his roommate would be an exceptionally bad idea, even if it worked out for soonyoung and wonwoo. he cares too much to risk it. but junnie surrounded by empty jello boxes and pouring baby oil into empty coke bottles? might be the weirdest.

he pushes the box into their room with his foot and closes the door. "do i want to know?"

"probably not, but will it bug you if you don't?"

"almost certainly."

"wonwoo came by earlier. our enemies next door got him with green slime."

"how does this involve you?"

"he asked me for help, _jagi._ "

which, fair enough, and jihoon can maybe guess what's going to happen, but he still has to know — "are the condoms part of this?"

"no, condoms are for safe sex," he deadpans. jihoon can't even be mad; he asked. "why haven't we done that, by the way?"

jihoon snorts. "you wish."

his roommate stops what he's doing and stares. "i mean, i asked for a reason."

"you— i think i left the oven on," jihoon panics, turns around and leaves. he goes one door down and knocks.

***

soonyoung laughs so hard he cries when he's briefed on the situation. jihoon waits. he finally calms down enough to say, "i'm in full support of this, honestly. not sure how it hasn't come up sooner."

"i can't just have sex with him."

"you've had sex with like half of our friends, jihoon."

this is so not a thing he wants to deal with right now. his arms hurt from carrying twenty-five fucking bottles of baby oil. but soonyoung won't drop it, not until he's satisfied. "they fell into the low-risk-of-relationship category."

soonyoung squints, then slowly smiles in the creepiest possible way. jihoon hides his face in his hands. the door opens, and wonwoo comes in. he drops his bag by the door and walks up behind his boyfriend, letting his arms hang around his neck.

"hi, baby," soonyoung says, tipping his head back. wonwoo leans down and kisses him.

jihoon coughs, because he's happy for them and everything, but hello? he's right here?

it pulls soonyoung's attention back to the situation at hand, at least, which may or may not be a good thing. "i fail to see the problem here, hoonie. he flirts with everyone, but never that directly."

"ugh, whatever. what do you know about his plan for all the jello and baby oil?" he asks, looking up at wonwoo.

wonwoo shakes his head. "nothing. he said he had an idea and sent me away. jello and baby oil?"

"and water balloons."

"what kind of jello?"

"that's your only question?"

wonwoo shrugs.

"cherry," jihoon says, standing. "thanks for nothing. i should go make sure he hasn't destroyed our room."

soonyoung snickers. "you should go tell him you've had a massive crush on him since— ow!"

"thanks, wonwoo."

***

jihoon paces in front of his door, muttering to himself under his breath. "it's fine, he's probably forgotten all about it because he has the attention span of a goldfish, it's not a big deal. i don't have to confess. but should i? maybe i should."

the door cracks open and junhui sticks his face out, giving him a look somewhere between concern, amusement, and apprehension. "what are you doing?"

"talking to myself."

junhui doesn't react, like that's a totally normal thing to be doing — probably because jihoon does it a lot — just moves onto his next question. "did you leave the oven on?"

"what oven?"

"i don't know, you said you thought you left the oven on and bolted."

jihoon is speechless. how can someone be so simultaneously devious and clueless and _why_ is that something that makes him want to rip his clothes off? he sighs, steps forward, and grabs junhui's shoulders, pushing him back into their room.

"take your clothes off." the fucking table is still full of jello boxes and half empty bottles of baby oil and jihoon still doesn't know exactly why.

junhui — absolutely infuriating, annoying, amazing junhui — has the audacity to smirk at him. "but the jello balloons—"

jihoon pulls his shirt over his head and reaches for his belt. "i'll help you with the fucking jello balloons later if you get undressed _now._ "

junhui's mood shifts. he reaches out and grabs jihoon's hands at his belt, stopping him. his eyes never leave jihoon's face, which is honestly kind of impressive because jihoon is shirtless and has always figured most of his appeal lies in how much time he spends in the gym. fucking jello. jihoon feels like he's swimming in it.

"yes, obviously. one-hundred percent down for whatever is happening here. but you need to tell me what's happening here, because i'm kind of in love with you."

jihoon rolls his eyes and huffs a laugh, but junhui just stares at him. jihoon panics, because this is not a scenario he planned for. "i need to— the oven—"

"you already used that one."

"i can't think of any more."

junhui is still holding his hands, uses them to lead him backwards until his knees hit his bed. "mm, this is really simple," he says as he sits down. jihoon steps between his knees and he puts his hands flat against jihoon's hips, like that's an acceptable thing to do, like jihoon's skin isn't on fucking fire. "you have two options, _jagi._ we can do this and pretend it never happened, or we can do this and not pretend it never happened. maybe do it again. maybe get dinner. maybe not do it with other people."

"serious" isn't usually a word that would be used to describe wen junhui, but here they are anyway. incredible.

jihoon makes a decision without talking himself through it, for once — climbs onto junhui's lap and grabs his face and leans down, nodding just before their lips touch. junhui smiles into it, presses his nails lightly into the back of jihoon's hips, and leans back, taking jihoon with him.

***

maybe it's the best sex of jihoon's life. maybe they're definitely going to do it again, and go on proper double dates with soonyoung and wonwoo, and maybe jihoon is already plotting which articles of clothing in junhui's side of the closet he can accidentally steal.

but for now, he wrinkles his nose and scoffs when junhui kisses his cheek, then gets out of bed and grabs his hoodie off the floor — as punishment for being so sappy, obviously. "so, i think i can guess the gist of it, but what's the plan for these balloons?"

**Author's Note:**

> did u know that their natal charts make them a very good pair? have u seen the ofd japan clip of [them going shopping?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgV-7dq53F0) them [during their first win](https://youtu.be/hwUffAnRa9k?t=387)? i love them very much thank you for reading.


End file.
